Are you afraid of being alone?

I have so often felt a sudden and strong urge to spend some time alone that I've almost got used to this feeling. It happened not only when I was feeling miserable. It could happen also when I felt happy with myself and those around me. I just needed to get away.

These situations were usually not beneficial for my relationships. My friends felt abandoned and offended, and complained of my lack of interest in them. I felt guilty and scared about this strange desire to have more space but I just couldn't help it. And everytime the most irritating thing was that I could find no plausible excuse for it.

One day when I was feeling particularly unhappy about it I decided to investigate this phenomenon. I had always been intrigued by the fact that there are two words in English frequently used for describing the state of being alone: loneliness and solitude. In Russian we have only one word for this notion, and its connotation is negative. I was pleased to discover that psychologically there can be two different states of being alone. Aloneness by itself is not necessarily a negative thing. It is all about our emotions about it that can turn it into either loneliness or solitude.

Loneliness and solitude - two words for the same thing?
Generally speaking, loneliness is unhappiness about being alone whereas solitude is happiness about being alone http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200308/what-is-solitude

If we go into details we can add that solitude is a voluntary seclusion and loneliness is a state of having to be alone. Solitude often enriches us spiritually and can help us to keep our creative juices flowing. It can be a refuge from daily pressures, a way of relaxation and even a source of inspiration. Solitude often helps to restore peace of mind and harmony after a troublesome or simply too eventful period.

Loneliness is a state in which one prefer to be given a choice. In contrast to solitude it is not pleasant and refreshing, it's disagreeable and depressing. Loneliness takes its toll on people who are prone to it. It lowers one's self-esteem and gives one a feeling of being unwanted, of not fitting in.

This classification helped me if not to explain to others but at least to understand the undercurrent reasons for needing space and to realise that it's not a vice but sometimes a vital necessity.